Trent and Duncan's 333 ways to get kicked out of Chris-Mart!
by randomgirl40
Summary: What the title says.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to whoever owns it. I in no possible way could own it anyway! ... In Canada.**

**It's the new drinking game!**

**• every time Duncan calls Trent Elvis, Guitar Hero, Music Man, mr I'm obsessed with the number nine! etc. take a drink.**

**• every time Trent rolls** his eyes take a drink.

**• every time anyone says nine take a drink.**

**• every time Duncan is called Punk, Three days grace reject, Mr Mohawk etc. take a drink.**

**• every time there is an **authors note take a drink.

**• every time someone says YAOI! Take** a drink.

Trent McCord awoke to the sound of banging on his apartment door. He got up to answer it. When he reached the wooden rectangle known as THE door, he found his rival Duncan Quagmire.

"Nice PJs Elvis." Smirked the punk.  
"Real mature," Trent rolled his lime green eyes. "What do you want?"  
"Well don't we get straight to the point?" Duncan chuckled. Trent glared at his nemesis. "Well I found this list online..." Trent raised an eyebrow.

"You can use the Internet? I didn't think juvy let you do that!" Trent gasped. Duncan grimaced.  
"You don't know a lot about juvenile court do you?" Duncan asked. "Anyway this list was called 333 ways to get kicked out of wall-mart. But," Trent groaned. There's the but.  
"Don't be like that guitar hero!" Duncan snapped. "But, I thought we could do it in Chris-mart!"

Chris-mart was the local supermarket, it was created by everyone's favourite (not really) TV reality host, Chris McLean! No one liked Chris.  
"Why Chris-mart?" Trent questioned. "Why not Chef-Mart?" Chef-Mart was created by Chef Hatchet, also not liked very much.  
"Because! Chef-Mart is for chumps!" Duncan retorted. Trent rolled his eyes.  
"He banned you didn't he?" Trent pressed.  
"That is not the point!" Duncan protested. "Now Elvis! Let is go to Chris-Mart!" With that Duncan started running down the street, his Mohawk billowing in the wind. Trent shrugged and followed in pursuit.

:


	2. Chapter 2

Di**sclaimer: I, randomgirl40, do not own TDI/A/WT/RI.**

**It's the new drinking game!**

**• every time Duncan calls Trent Elvis, Guitar Hero, Music Man, mr I'm obsessed with the number nine! etc. take a drink.**

**• every time Trent rolls his eyes take a drink.**

**• every time anyone says nine take a drink.**

**• every time Duncan is called Punk, Three days grace reject, Mr Mohawk etc. take a drink.**

**• every time there is an authors note take a drink.**

**• every time someone says YAOI! T**ake a drink.

When our dynamic duo reached Chris-Mart, Trent skimmed through the list.  
"Aw c'mon! Why do I have to do number 2!" Elvis groaned. Duncan sniggered.  
"Because! It would look stupid if I went up to someone like that!" The punk replied. "Hey! Who does this author think they're calling punk?!" Trent rolled his eyes.

"Duncan, don't upset my fangirl." He calmly stated. Duncan growled.  
"What makes you think she's your fangirl?! She's totally my fangirl!" A voice behind them giggled.  
"Your soo funny Donald!" Snickered the Voice. That was when Trent had an idea.

* * *

While Duncan went to go do number one, Lindsay went to do number two.  
The blonde walked up to a brunette boy and hugged him.  
"TYLER! I'm so glad to see you! It's been three years!" She Exclaimed. The boy was surprised, but when he saw who it was his facial expression changed.  
"You remember me?" He asked the blonde, who nodded. "SHE REMEMBERS ME!" Then an avalanche happened and everyone in the sports area of the store was swept away.

* * *

Man, wonder what that was. Thought Duncan. What was I doing again? Oh. Yeah, switch items in a shopping cart with another. The delinquent snuck up to two trolleys and instead of switching items switched the trolleys.

So a mother of four ended up with fifty or so bottles of Stella Artois and a builder ended up with sixteen packs of pampers nappies. The two people ended fighting over who had stolen who's trolley, Duncan left quickly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: if I owned Total Drama Courtney would have got tons more screen time! And maybe Zeke too.**

**It's the new drinking game!**

**• every time Duncan calls Trent Elvis, Guitar Hero, Music Man, mr I'm obsessed with the number nine! etc. take a drink.**

**• every time Trent rolls his eyes take** a drink.

**• every time anyone says nine take a drink.**

**• every time Duncan is called Punk, Three days grace reject, Mr Mohawk etc. take a drink.**

**• every time there is an authors note take a drink.**

**• every time someone says YAOI! Take** a drink.

Trent looked at the list. Number three: whack someone on the head with a ham.

Trent walked briskly over to the meat produce section and picked the biggest ham he could find. He then spotted a raven haired girl looking at the bacon.

He crept up to the teen, who had not yet noticed him. He whacked her in the head with the ham.  
"OW!" She screeched. "Trent? Off Total Drama? What are you doing in Chris-Mart? No, better question, WHY DID YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH A FREAKING HAM?!" Trent took a step back.

The girl raised her left hand.  
"MINDCRUSH!" She announced. Trent fell back wards. The teen looked to her hand. " huh, that actually worked." She then went to go do who knows what, leaving Trent unconscious on the floor.

* * *

Duncan walked through the shop looking for an old geezer to bother. He soon found one, the punk walked up to the man and yelled.  
"GRAMPS! Your alive! It's a miracle!" The OAP turned to look at him.

"Yugi? Is that you?" He asked Duncan. "Your in charge of the game shop. I have to go check the arbituries to see if I've died yet.." Then the strange man walked off. Duncan just stood there.

"That. Was. Weird..." He murmured. "Anyhoo! I've got to go find Trent!" Then Duncan skipped off to find Elvis (which was preeetty scary to shoppers, I mean, if I saw someone famous skipping I would freak!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: does anyone actually know who owns TDI? Cuz it's not me.**

**It's the new drinking game!**

**• every time Duncan calls Trent Elvis, Guitar Hero, Music Man, mr I'm obsessed with the number nine! etc. take a drink.**

**• every time Trent rolls his eyes take a drink.**

** every time someon**e **says nine take a drink.**

**• every time Duncan is called Punk, Three days grace reject, Mr Mohawk etc. take a drink.**

**• every time there is an authors note take a drink.**

• **every time someone says YAOI! Take a drink**.

As Duncan was skipping away to find Trent, the mysterious girl from chapter three read the drinking game.  
"Hmm." She wondered. "Why hasn't anyone said yaoi yet?" Courtney then appeared next to her.

"Because I payed everyone not to." Courtney explained.  
"Thanks for the MINDCRUSHing powers Courts!" The girl thanked.  
"No probs. no I have to go sue Chris!" Courtney then disappeared.

"Huh. Wonder where she went." The girl thought. "Anyhoo! Now to go find the horror stories!" She then also skipped away.

* * *

Duncan approached an unconscious Trent. He kicked the musician.  
"TRENT! WAKE UP YOU LAZY GUITAR HERO!" Duncan yelled.

"OhEmGee!" A fangirl squealed.

"Katie! It's yaoi!" The girl next to her squealed too.  
"It's soo beautiful!" They chorused. They then skipped off to tell Sierra.

Trent woke up and looked around.  
"I was MINDCRUSHed wasn't I?" He questioned Duncan.  
"Most likely!" The punk chirped. "Anyhoo! Did you do number three?" Trent nodded.

"Good. Now, let us leave!" Duncan announced. Trent looked at himself.  
"You do realise I was in pyjamas this whole time?" Trent quizzed. "How come no one stared at me?"  
"Because, it's rude to stare." The punk replied. "Bye Trent!" Three days grace reject then ran off.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: today the disclaimer decided to quit. So, I have to do the job. Ahem! I do not own Total Drama, or the two characters Trent and Duncan. I also do not own Monster High If i did, there would be at least ONE yaoi couple in there! I DEFINATLY DON'T own real house wives of Orange County!

* * *

It's** the new drinking game!**

**• every time Duncan calls Trent Elvis, Guitar Hero, Music Man, mr I'm obsessed with the number nine! etc. take a drink.**

**• every time Trent rolls his eyes take a drink.**

**• every time anyone says nine take a drink.**

**• every time Duncan is called Punk, Three days grace reject, Mr Mohawk etc. take a drink.**

**• every time there is an authors note take a drink.**

**• every time someone says YAOI! T**ake a drink.

* * *

Trent woke up early the next morning. He had dressed to avoid going to Chris-Mart in his pyjamas, again. While he was watching his favourite TV show (the real house wives of Orange County) the doorbell rang.

The music man got up to answer it, to his dismay it was Duncan.  
"Hello Elvis!" The punk chirped. "We're going to go look for matching T-Shirts!" Trent rolled his eyes.  
"You're being extremely OOC Duncan." He replied.

"So are you." Duncan pointed out. "THIS FANFIC AUTHOR HAS SOMETHING AGAINST ME!"  
Trent facepalmed, then pulled Duncan inside his house.

"Are you going to calm down or do I have to get number nine to babysit!" Trent hissed, a big green nine walked down the stairs.  
"999999999!" It squealed. "OhEmGee! Drent!" It then pulled out a purple camera with a picture of Cody on it and ran off.

Trent and Duncan were left bewildered. They then shook their heads and headed to Chris-Mart.

* * *

"Take something from some else's cart, when they say 'hey that's mine!' Call security and say that the other person was trying to take your _" Duncan read. "You do this one Guitar Hero!" Trent groaned but then walked off to... The toy area! Followed by a red number three, which had a purple camera with a picture of Cody on it.

When the music man got to THE TOY AREA! He spied a girl, with her short black hair in a pony tail, in the monster high section. He grabbed a... Lagoona Blue hydration station from her trolley. The girl turned around while he was taking it.

"Hands off the toy bucko!" She ordered. "Trent? WTF!" The green eyed musician looked at her.  
"Heather?! WTF to you too!" He shouted. "Why were you buying Monster High?! Are you insane?!" Heather slapped him.

"That's not mine! It's my sister's!" She snatched the toy. Then started to walk off. But a security guard saw.

"Attention miss!" He yelled. "My hair saw you take a toy from that man!" He then grabbed the toy and gave it to Trent. Another security guard saw that though.  
"Attention hair guy! My mullet saw you take this girl's toy!" He shouted.  
"But Mullet guy!" Hair guy announced.

Heather and Trent both backed away slowly. They then walked off to MacDonalds.

* * *

"You do realise there's a number thirteen following us right?" Heather pointed out to Trent.  
"Don't talk about it." He whispered. "It has pictures of me and Duncan!" Heather rolled her eyes.  
"So? There's a fangirl out there who ships me with Gwen, do you think I care?" She asked him.

"Yeah, but you're a les-" Trent started, heather clasped a hand around his mouth.  
"You tell anyone... You die!" She hissed before walking off.  
"Awesome! Heather likes girls!" Thirteen smiled. It then skipped away.

"Move a 'caution: wet floor' sign to a carpeted area." Duncan read. He found a wet floor sign near the fridge sections, moved it to Chris's office and walked away whistling.

* * *

2 hours later...

"Owwwww!" Trent screeched. He had fallen over in front of a fridge. Of course, he was running away from a pink number seven. Duncan had seen the musician fall over.  
"Geez Guitar Hero!" He shouted. "Why are you falling over? this is Chris-mart! Why is there a pack of Chris ice cubes?"

"Let's leave!" Trent ordered.  
"But I wanna stay!" Duncan moaned.  
"STOP BEING SO OOC MAN!" Trent shook Duncan.  
"Never, do that again." Duncan said, before dragging Trent out of Chris-Mart.


End file.
